//various musings_

where i'll put various thoughts and whatnot


whoo boy howdy it's been a minute

(that one john mulaney quote where he goes "*groan* y'know, life")

anyway i've been thinking maybe i don't need to update my update section every time i update a page

especially since there's no way to go back and actually see the previous versions; all you really got is reading the damn thing and trying to piece together what happened like an archaeologist with way too much time on their hands

so maybe if i like actually flesh out my character pages or other actually significant stuff

but otherwise i can probably just update it

'll save a lotta time trying to updateception it every time i push an update :p

theoretically replacing all my page-side images with thumbnails would be pretty simple but man would it take for-fuckin-ever

i should probably take these pages out of their folders unless necessary huh

that'd also be pretty tedious work though


i should probably do something about the fact that this site takes a hot minute to load the css and then several more, even hotter minutes to load all the images i put on it, even when they're downscaled 50% and run through an image optimizer...


y'know what? i could remake my background and add some animated stars to it or smth

or maybe just add the stars, idk


head full of thoughts of solarpunk and sustainable living


just remembered this sims-like mobile game i used to play called virtual families... those're some real deep-cut memories right there,

i even remembered the first part of the theme song... jesus christ

sometimes i have ideas for webpage layouts, but idk whether i wanna put in the time and effort to make them...


i should probably include a back button on my writing stuff... or should i? the sidebar works just fine


this past christmas i discovered plush gnomes/tomte/nisse

i love them so much... they're so cute


why does my brain keep making up dreams about media that doesn't exist

i take an afternoon nap and now i'm invested in a quiet himbo trying to survive an obsession-zombie outbreak by kicking their asses and climbing buildings with his bare hands


i had a weird dream last night, but the weirdest thing was that i kept thinking i'd woken up and started to write the dream down when suddenly i'd "wake up" again, etc

by the time i actually woke up most of the details had faded from my memory...


my first exposure to tumblr was google image screenshots

(note from 10/31/22)

i've had quite a few dreams about media (and supplementary material thereto) i was convinced was real, only to wake up and realize it never existed


oh god did i subconsciously name danica (one of my one piece ocs) after cyberkidz


i am thinking about 90s anime art styles so hard

i feel like there's something to emulating them that i haven't quite unlocked yet... what is it...?


hm... i feel like i've run out of ideas for both ocs and this website... what to do...... hmmmmmmmmm.........................

anyone else ever have your brain function as a makeshift radio while you're working in complete silence


marveling at the beauty of deep shadows after rain, the shine of wet stone and wood, the squish of mud under my shoes, the way it cakes up a whole layer under the soles, the way my cheeks go numb in the cold, lowkey freaking out about the sheer overwhelming magnitude of it all... y'know, normal stuff

spent like an hour just injecting old pulpy 70s sci-fi/fantasy art directly into my brain... ough

there's something about the shading and texture work in that style (and ig in vintage stuff in general) that makes it feel so real

like how even surreal and abstract-looking environments look so vivid and alive

and the lighting reminds me of theatre 'n stuff in how it feels so staged yet grounded in realistic form

it's something i don't notice as much in more modern digital art... i wonder if i can try and capture that feeling?


watching sonic frontiers made me wanna make a game

but dammit, i don't have the patience or brainpower to spend years of my life on gamedev no matter how much i might want it!!


trying to compile things i used to be (more) interested in in the past and it feels like i've forgotten it all... either that, or it's from way too far back in my childhood to be relevant


as i relisten to penny parker's cover of "never meant to know," i think of how i'm no closer to understanding the lyrics of tally hall than i was six years ago.

"there are some things we don't understand /
reasons on the other hand /
there are some things we are never meant to know"

it's oddly fitting.


currently all my images are fullsize and link to their sources, but i wonder if i should get rid of the links and downsize them to save space

i mean... not that i'm in danger of running out of space anytime soon, but the number of images i have on here may multiply significantly over time


why are cursors showing up whenever i click on text elements in firefox

update: i figured it out. i accidentally enabled caret browsing somehow. whoops

last night i was getting major gender envy from something but i didn't write it down... now i don't remember what it was

edit: i rember, turns out it was the cast of cool doji danshi


i dress up for halloween once (twice) and relisten to the great ace attorney soundtrack and suddenly i wanna dress like a victorian man and sit in an ornate lounge by the fireplace and rearrange the 221b baker street theme for piano and

i love the aesthetic of the victorian era... and nothing else

been looking at old 2000s/10s faux-anime deviantart tutorials and they're cooler than i'll ever be


overhauling some of these unlisted pages is giving me a major headache

i've been rereading the final chapters of the mob psycho 100 manga and. god. it's so good

i saw some people's tweets speculating what'll happen next and i'm just sitting here like. you're not ready. you're really not

how the heck do i arrange these? idk if i wanna have each date section in separate boxes or just leave it all in one box like this... maybe a box for each month? idk


i'd be so much more powerful if i wasn't allergic to putting images on this site and also afraid of using tables

one of these days i seriously gotta dig thorugh all my psds and upload actual pics

i wonder if i could stream myself making neocities pages someday

i already know the entire plot but maybe it'd be nice to stream the great ace attorney

theoretically i could reskin this website, but it'd be such a bother